Author: Steven Carney

“Do you see me married?” It’s a question many people might find ordinary or even expected. But when the same question is asked about a person with a learning disability, it challenges a society that too often excludes, overlooks or underestimates the hopes and dreams of people with learning disabilities.

This Learning Disability Week, we’re putting this question front and centre. This is because love, partnership, and the dream of marriage aren’t exclusive to a chosen few. They are part of what it means to be human. And people with learning disabilities, just like everyone else, deserve to have their desires seen, heard, and respected.

Take Andrew and Angela. Andrew first saw Angela while gardening for a neighbour. He told his neighbour, “She’s lovely—I fancy her.” Encouraged to ask her out, he ran after her and invited her for a coffee. She said no. But the next time he saw her, she said yes. That coffee turned into a friendship, and eventually, love. Angela began staying over more often, and after four years, Andrew asked her to be his girlfriend properly.

Years later, Andrew proposed at a local pub. He got down on one knee. Angela said, “Everyone’s looking at us,” but Andrew asked again—and she said yes. The whole pub cheered. The manager brought them a free meal and champagne. Today, they’re married. They go on holidays, help each other at home, and enjoy each other’s company. When asked what makes him happiest in his marriage, Andrew says, “Meeting Angela on that day.”

Too often, the ambitions of people with learning disabilities are boxed in by limiting assumptions: that they won’t live independently, hold down meaningful work, or enter loving relationships. But these assumptions say more about our society than about their capabilities. When someone asks, “Do you see me married?” they’re really asking, “Do you see me as a full person?” That question is a powerful provocation—and it should make us all stop and think.

Whether it’s going on a first date, having a partner, or planning a future with someone they love, people with learning disabilities have the same right to romantic desires as anyone else. Yet too often, barriers stand in their way. There are fewer opportunities for socialising, limited access to inclusive relationship education, and sometimes a lack of support from those around them. But with the right encouragement, understanding, and adjustments, relationships can and do flourish.

This year, we’re sharing stories like Andrew and Angela’s—stories that are joyful, complicated, funny, and touching, just like anyone else’s. These stories ask us to look at love through a different lens. Not a lens of pity or permission, but one of equality and celebration.

Seeing someone married means more than witnessing a wedding. It means recognising their capacity for love. It means ensuring they have the right to make decisions, to give and receive affection, to dream about a life with someone else—and to make that dream a reality. So, when someone asks, “Do you see me married?” our answer should be a resounding “Yes, I see you.” Not as someone who is different. Not as someone whose love is conditional. But as someone whose hopes matter just as much as anyone else’s.

When people think about politics, they don’t always picture someone with a learning disability at the heart of it. But Jonathan is helping to change that view simply by showing up, speaking out, and being himself.

Jonathan, who lives with Down’s syndrome, is an active member of the Labour Party and passionate about making sure everyone has the chance to be heard. He believes that political spaces should reflect the diversity of society—and that includes people with learning disabilities.

Recently, Jonathan was a proud participant in the My Vote My Voice campaign. With warmth and confidence, he helped others understand how important it is to vote, and reminded people that their voice matters, no matter who they are.

With support from his Support Worker Ian, Jonathan attended a political conference in Blackpool. It was a big moment, not just for Jonathan, but for what it represents. His presence there quietly challenged the idea that politics is only for a certain type of person. Jonathan brought his perspective, his passion, and his commitment to being part of the conversation.

This Learning Disability Week, we’re asking: Do You See Me? Jonathan’s story is a reminder that visibility matters. It’s about being seen not for what someone can’t do, but for all the things they can do.

When people like Jonathan are included in political spaces, it makes our democracy stronger. It shows what real inclusion looks like: not just being present, but being welcomed, respected, and heard.

Jonathan has a seat at the table. And he belongs there, just like everyone else.

At Options, we’re working towards a better world where people with learning disabilities are seen, included, and celebrated – everywhere. You can help us by donating today.

59% of people with a learning disability don’t take part in sport — not even once a month. Yet, 2 out of 3 say they want to do more*. At Options, we believe everyone deserves the chance to be active, included, and proud of what they can achieve.

That’s why we’re celebrating Peter, who recently completed the Liverpool Half Marathon — a huge personal milestone. Peter, who has a learning disability, trained every week with his support worker, Liam. Together, they built a routine, set goals, and stayed motivated. Options matched Liam with supporting Peter due to their similar hobbies and interests in sport.

“Every Tuesday, me and Liam do our 10k run,” Peter shared. “Before the race, we practised the route five times.”

On race day, Peter felt the energy of the crowd. “The atmosphere was amazing. People were cheering us on,” he said. Peter crossed the finish line in just over 2 hours — beating his personal best by three minutes.

Peter’s story is a powerful reminder that people with learning disabilities have goals, talents, ambition, and determination. With the right support in place, Peter can be seen and achieve his goals.

We’re working towards a better world where people with learning disabilities are seen, included, and celebrated – everywhere. You can help us by donating today.

*Data from the English Learning Disability Sports Alliance